'The squirrels were wildly untrained': 25+ Hilarious 1-star reviews of national parks and forests

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 23, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

"It's just trees," lamented one unhappy 1-star reviewer who was writing about… a national forest. Don't you hate when you visit the outdoors, and the outdoors are there? Crazy how that works. 

These people decided to visit our nation's many great national parks, and they then proceeded to leave very funny, and very unhinged 1-star reviews about them. The funniest to me are the ones where people get the location entirely wrong. For example, one reviewer was frustrated because their "Milkshake was disappointing, ordered jalapeños on my chicken sandwich but didn't get them :/." Too bad they were reviewing the Croatan National Forest in North Carolina… not a disappointing restaurant. These types of reviews aren't helpful, but they make us laugh with their absurdity nevertheless. 

Below, we have a great collection of one-star reviews about the USA's most popular tourist attractions. As you can imagine, there are quite a lot of people who are just joking around with their reviews. But some distraught reviewers really do seem upset about the Grand Canyon's lack of WiFi, or the Croatan National Forest's tree problem (there are too many trees. In the forest. Yep.) The first 15 reviews are all about the Grand Canyon, #16-#26 are regarding Croatan National Forest, and there's a bonus review of Zion National Park on the last slide. 

After you have a peek inside the minds of these silly tourists, these tattoo artists got caught talking about their clients behind their backs. 

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  • 01
    Grand Canyon 1 Star Review: 'Where are the faces of the founding fathers?'
    via Drif Riadh on Unsplash
  • 02

    Let's start off with a bunch of reviews about the Grand Canyon

    Michael Long 4 reviews where are the faces of the founding fathers??? I spent $2000 on this trip and they weren't there as promised. I Like Share
    via RoninSven

    Famously, not home to any Founding Father face carvings. 

  • 03
    J Jon Goodman 1 review Not as deep as I expected. 102 Share
    via RoninSven
  • 04
    Ken P 11 reviews What a huge pain in the ! If you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to make a quick escape twards Canada.... DO NOT GO THIS WAY!! There is a huge crack in the ground and a ton of people staring into it. And it takes miles and miles to go around!! They should put up a sign or something telling people this is there. Also there was no taco truck. Like Share
    via RoninSven
  • 05
    On ALL PRAISE TO THE GREAT ONE 1 review I fell off. 104 Share
    via RoninSven
  • 06

    Even the local guide has a gripe about the WiFi

    G Gabriel Fender Local Guide · 54 reviews No Wi-Fi 103 < Share
    via RoninSven
  • 07
    Jake Landshark 5 reviews My wife told me our baby boy wasn't mine right as we got there. 16 < Share
    via RoninSven
  • 08
    DYRTY LIFE 2 reviews no WiFi. Nice to look at doe. Like Share
    via RoninSven
  • 09
    Mr Blvck 2 reviews (Translated by Google) One must not go there (Original)... I Like Share
    via RoninSven
  • 10
    Han-Xiao Peng 1 review It didn't even tell me any thing useful! Stupid safari! Like Share
    via RoninSven
  • 11
    DC videofreakazoido 1 review 2 photos Too many rocks. Not enough people. Where are my fries?!?! Like < Share
    via RoninSven
  • 12
    ヨ Eli Samson 1 review Was no good, no wifi. 107 Share
    via RoninSven
  • 13

    One local has ideas to liven things up

    Matthew Lau Local Guide · 16 reviews • wasn't as big as I thought. Maybe making it bigger with water would be cool. 104 Share
    via RoninSven
  • 14
    Harrison Rout 2 reviews This was so amazing I wish this could be in China wouldn't that be great but Australia was the best place I've ever been to to see this type of chicken. Go New Zealand I hope that they loose but in in every thing. Antarctica is so hot Like Share
    via RoninSven
  • 15
    Ј Jake Miller 3 reviews 0 30 bucks for a TOTALLY UNKEPT STUPID HOLE IN THE GROUND!!!! There is dust everywhere and hundreds of employees just wondering around doing nothing and nobody came up and offered to be our tour guide. What are we supposed to do just go get lost? What if I fall in? NO SUPERVISION!!!!!! The squirrels were wildly untrained!! DO NOT TRY TO PUT ANY ARTICLES OF CLOTHING ON THEM!! I had to superglue my husband's face because of their negligence. Also the stickers that they give
    via RoninSven
  • 16

    Next up, these are reviews of Croatan National Forest in North Carolina

    Dr Dr Dinkleberg 2 reviews Windy Cold horrible B
    via kentrain
  • 17

    That is not the forest's fault, buddy

    j jake faircloth 89 reviews 3 photos Got lost in the woods for 5 days B
    via kentrain
  • 18

    What do you have against planted pine, Mike?

    mike woodruff 163 reviews 1 photo It is nothing but planted pine
    via kentrain
  • 19
    Cliff Wooten C Local Guide - 210 reviews It's just trees
    via kentrain
  • 20

    Alyssa you are lost!

    Alyssa Knoll 4 reviews. 6 photos 3 years ago Milkshake was disappointing, ordered jalapeños on my chicken sandwich but didn't get them :/
    via kentrain
  • 21
    Bobby Riggs B 5 reviews Have not been there!!! Error in location!!! о
    via kentrain
  • 22
    P Pat Griffin 59 reviews Unfortunately I can't because I didn't stop there
    via kentrain
  • 23
    Michael • 11 reviews 1 photo Waste land of a national forest B
    via kentrain
  • 24

    Bruh

    disia danos d Local Guide - 41 reviews Nice place to visit
    via kentrain
  • 25

    Love a confused reviewer

    R Raymond Henery 1 review Very, very slow Been here 20 min Nobody has taken our order,they are not busy
    via kentrain
  • 26
    alex allmashy 104 reviews 1 photo Wasn't there
    via kentrain
  • 27

    Moving on, Zion National Park had a few haters

    Stephen Longofono Local Guide - 35 reviews - 113 photos 6 months ago I really wanted to like this place, but everything was a disappointment. Everything was dirty, everything was crowded and hot. Couldn't get a latte to save my life. I wish I could give zero stars. Avoid this. Like Larry Jey Local Guide 18 reviews 4 months ago Boring, too hot, not much to do Like ... Dane Alicandro Local Guide 34 reviews 5 months ago No Arby's, not even a McDonald's. Just rocks, huge rocks, and some water and gr
    via u/Olive_Jane

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tourists funny reviews tourist review funny reviews park one star reviews one star grand canyon North Carolina arizona
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